Another day had past.

This blog is only when i don't feel good then i will start writing.
How is everyone doing? Fine?

For me, i don't feel good at all. I felt that i lose everyone, my friends where ever they are. So much we been through together. Everyone start getting busy. Nobody got time for each other.
I was a little depressed last night, all i wanted is to talk to someone. But just nobody replies me. Everyone just ignored me. Question starts popping in my head.

Does everyone hate me?
Does everyone dislike me?
Did i done something wrong?
Can i ask for your concern?
What's wrong with everything?
Or it's just me that is thinking too much?
I hope so.

Someone told me 'Friendship is not abut people who act true to you face. It's actually about people who remain true behind your back'.
Many people might encounter such things before also.
Jacobyang, be strong please. Don't let your depression be back again.
Fight it Jacob. You can do this.
Love yourself, Believe in yourself, Trust yourself.
One day, there will be someone that see the changes you made for yourself.

Love,
Jacob

Sorry to all the people that i hurt you guys.
Sorry to all the people that i made them feel disappointed.
Sorry to all the people that i made you guys angry.
Sorry to all the people that i made you guys sad.
Sorry to all the people that i made things hard for you guys.
Sorry to all the people that i never made you guys happy anymore.
Sorry to all the people that im not myself anymore.
Sorry to all the people that i made you cry.
Sorry to all the people that i cry so easily.
Sorry to all the people that i get sad easily.
Sorry to all the people that i have depression.
Sorry to all the people for everything.

I didnt mean to hurt you. I rather hurt you a little now than hurt you more in the future.
Whether we will get together in the future, let just let faith decide.
As i cant decide of anything anymore.
How badly you treat me differently.
I wont let anyone know okay?
I guess im never a good guy that anyone can trust with.
Somethings i can help us or me, i will know say.
I dont want give toy false hope.
Can you see the future of us?
For me, maybe not now.
But i tried to treat you the very best, different from anyone else.
But to you, its never enough.
As my condition now i really tried.
Whether to treat you differently to others, try my SUPER best to be happy.
And not sad.
You cant see the effort.

Everyone is different.
Different people have different personality.
Different personality have different attitude.
Different attitude bring different quit of happiness.

(:

26/08/2016

I need help.
I'm in fear.
Devil is much stronger than Angel.
Angel is not winning, not leading my way.
Hatred within me is gaining
Can you dont take her away from me?
Lead the way for me.
Im lost.
My mind appearing a word.
Is called 'DEATH'.
Hey me, Can you ever be happy?
Think what are you facing.
Life may be tough.
Road may be rough.
Sky may be dark.
Can anyone believe me?
No matter how much im trying.
I can never know what im feeling.
Hatred?
Jealous?
Sadness?
Its just slowly breaking me down.
Im trying to get up on my feet again.
But its not working anymore.
3 words.
DEATH
FEAR
HATRED.

IM BACK!! I DONT FEEL GOOD.

7th of July
Hello guys! But in the end, There is only one person that is reading it! Hahaha!
My Mood today wasn't really very good, have been so stress out and all from this morning till now, what should i do?
The jealousy i felt so much today was like killing me so badly. She went out with Mr Lee, and only reply me so little for 3 hours. 3 hours of waiting, i know its gonna be worth it. But there is only a boy and a girl outside, nobody else was with them. Tell me then, how wouldnt i feel jealous, how not to think too much about it! Do anyone even understand how i feel?
I know you have school, i have work everyday. But of course i will make time for you, but will you? Im waiting everyday, every moment for you to ask me out, hinting you to ask me out and all. I know when i ask you, you wont so.
How afraid i am to lose you? Umm.. VERY VERY AFRAID! I lose you once, and god made me fall back in love with you, i believe it means something. I know now this time, i will feel so bad, suffering a lot. Im able to endure everything, because i wish that it will change better everyday! I wish that one day everything is gonna be worth of a pain. Its really hurtful, and i just cant show it to you, my friends or my family!

5th of July
PART 2?
FUCK I HATE THIS FEELING, Im just jealous, im sorry! But still have to act that im strong, act that im still happy and smiling, asking about 'How was it meeting him?' But at least you are happy? Hahaha!
What can i do then? SUCK IT UP!!
Where i stand?

SO
FUCKING
STRESS
ABOUT
EVERYTHING __l__ *MIDDLE FINGER*

5th of July
Happy to see you again miss wong, and you too asshole chan! Hahahah!
Suck at whatever things im doing, what to do with it?
- Work
- Family
- Phone
- Miss Wong

WORK - Was really tiring everyday. Have to do much things because im still a junior in camp.

FAMILY - I really hope that my dad find a job and stop stressing himself. And really hope the worst wont come. My dad told me and my sister that are going to separate. Think for me and my sister, What we need and should do if you two really separate? I really dont know what to do anymore man.

Phone - MY FUCKING PHONE SPOIL AT THE FUCKING WRONG TIMING. Getting my new phone soon! Which will get me money again.

Miss Wong - Dear Miss Wong, i understand you still cant forget because him, but im still fighting with the jealous, the stress-ness and everything that i need fight for, for you! Its gonna be really tough for me, but think about it, why i am willing to do all this, let myself go through so much for you. Its because i fall back for you, i miss you, i know i never once ever let you go. And I Love You. But i cant tell you all this right now, because its gonna be so pointless. Thats why im standing here strong for you. No matter how big the rain and thunderstorm is gonna be, i will be standing up straight waiting for you. What meant to be , meant to be. I know, i just cant stop thinking about you. But i got my friends supports now. I really hope everything is going to goes smoothly and well. Thanks Miss Chan, Thanks Miss Tan.
*Miss V.Tan dont know about this anyway*

Have a good day guys, I hope it goes well to me too! (: